Been dating for 7 months from best friends to dating

16 Apr

Things were going really well, we got along really good.

While it might seem like a bold tactic to try and level up your relationship by splashing for a blowout Valentine’s day, it’s not a sound strategy. Unless you’re absolutely certain the relationship is ready for it, a shock and awe date on Valentine’s day is likely to backfire because there’s already considerable pressure on both sides to present a Goldilocks gesture – not too eager/intense, not too casual.

If one side blows this up, the consequences can be grave.

For example, a good female friend of mine had been seeing a guy for a few months. Take her to five-star haute cuisine mecca Bouley, in Manhattan.

He said he wanted to take her out for Valentine’s, acknowledging it was corny but that he wanted to anyway. As I understand it, Bouley is one of those thirteen course, wine paired, 00 per head kind of places.

The question you should be asking instead is, “What do I want out of Valentine’s day? I’ve been in exactly this situation on Valentine’s day and it sucks because February 14 is a pressure-cooker of expectations. First, don’t assume you have to go big or go traditional (Italian restaurant, wine, roses: wallet-buster). “So if you two are madly in love and fully committed, even after three months, you should spend a little more and get a more personal gift.” It could be an opportunity to take your relationship to the next level by demonstrating your communication, attentiveness, and creativity. If you’re not invested, it means you’re acting from a place of anxiety, defensiveness, or over-compensation. But, if you’re more casual and haven’t made much of a commitment (if any), then go for something less extravagant and less personal.” For the lightly invested, this could include organizing a group outing, invite her, and pay for her drinks.As long as you put in a good effort, they want you to succeed. You’ve hit a home run if, in the middle of the date, you’ve totally forgotten it’s Valentine’s day at all.Stillman Brown is a writer and TV producer who has created prime time content for National Geographic, Discovery, Travel Channel and many others.

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